i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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