I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
