we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
