u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize