You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
