u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My penis needs a shock collar
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
