we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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