I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
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according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
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My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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