Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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