If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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