Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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