You're so nebulous sometimes
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
