If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize