i just wanna soil my oats bro
I look better un-naked...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I love you. Go after that dick
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
