FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
