I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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