bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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