She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
