Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
