ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
