She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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