do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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