I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
