we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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