I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
my poor anus
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
