Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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