it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
