if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i came on her dog
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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