..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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