i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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