Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
