I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
