similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
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She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
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We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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