Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
