Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
