i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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