god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
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