so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
