Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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