she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
