So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
