I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
