Im at strip club and am horny
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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