So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
