If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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