I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
