So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
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I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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