so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
