Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
