Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
