I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
