Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
