i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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