you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
