Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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