The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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