Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize