i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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