Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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