i just had sex bonerless
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
